Twenty-five, Asian, disabled and looking for love

This list is compiled out of true stories I’ve heard and a few personal experiences in my journey to find love. Though not every single Asian is obviously like this, unfortunately there are quite a few of them around. Also, no offense intended

1. First of all, you should be lucky enough to find a guy who is man enough* to decide that you are someone awesome and that he genuinely, truly wants to spend the rest of his life with you.

2. Asian parents are too involved in their children’s lives. They almost always completely disapprove of their beloved son deciding to spend the rest of his life with a disabled girl.

3. His parents, siblings and even distant relatives may see you as a demonic entity whose sole intent in life is to destroy said guy’s life.

4. They will avoid you and never talk to you or acknowledge your presence at family gatherings.

5. His family will also talk passionately and in aggrieved tones about what an absolutely wonderful boy your S.O is in every possible way and lament the misfortune (you) that has befallen him right in front of your face.

6. Worse still, ancient aunts and neighbours might whisper, a little too loudly perhaps, that your S.O had to surely have sinned royally in his previous life to have deserved this fate (you) in this life.

7. If the two of you are brave enough to consider marriage, you will more than likely break several hearts, the first being your future MIL’s.

8. Marriage will most likely send your husband into exile as his family would probably disown him.

9. Already surrounded by guilt and doubt, you will begin to wonder whether you will be able to successfully raise a family with him owing to your disability.

10. If you are able to defy all odds and stay strong, united in your decision to be together, you and your S.O will likely have a very happy life together.

*I’m truly sorry to have resorted to using this phrase. But I don’t genuinely know how else to put it because guys, especially Asian guys (according to the many stories I’ve heard and my personal experiences) seem in need of growing a pair when it comes to dating a disabled girl.


25 things I wish I learned at 25

All over the internet you find posts and personal accounts of people at various stages of life revealing what they have learned at the said stage in life, with a point of wisdom each to equal their age. But what about the things you wish you had known or learned at a certain turning point of your life? How different would your life be today if you had known those things? I’ll be 26 years old this year, and quite frankly, there are certainly some things I wish I had known by the time I turned 25, so that it would have made me a different woman, a better woman than I am today.

  1. You will be truly blessed and lucky if you are able to get your act sorted by the time you are 25. Unlike you expected previously, you probably won’t have the job and the man of your dreams. Rather you will be stuck in job that you hate or even a job that you love but pays poorly.
  2. If you are single, you will wonder whether you will die a sad, lonely death with no one to hold your hand because let’s face it, everyone around you is getting married in a frenzy, they have found supposedly mature thoughtful individuals with whom they see themselves spending the rest of their lives and you are Facebook stalking that cute co-worker who says hi to you everyday in the elevator.
  3. If you are in a relationship, you will wonder at least at one point in the relationship (happens to the best of us), whether the man you’ve committed yourself to is actually able to accomodate and understand your physical and emotional needs and boundaries which in turn makes you wonder whether you are ready to spend the rest of your lives together.
  4. Love thrills, and hurts, in exactly the same way it did when you were 16.
  5. Having three failed relationships do not turn you into a relationship expert, or improve your ability to pick out a better man because even the classiest, most well-balanced guy you finally find, could turn out to be wrong for you. Nor does it make the pain easier to deal with if it ever comes down to that.
  6. you cannot stop your heart from going out and getting stuck in places where it does not belong, it will be stuck stubbornly and firmly the way Jane’s tonsil’s got stuck on her new boyfriend’s piercing in The Sweetest Thing.
  7. Remember the time you thought you’d be a well travelled young woman by 25? Well you’re 25 and too broke for it. Don’t worry you still have time to go see the world.
  8. That car you thought you’d be driving into work now, it’s out there somewhere in the not-so-distant future, waiting for you. Go and get it.
  9. It’s ok to feel a little lost.
  10. It’s perfectly fine to obsess over every little thing that guy you really want to go out with tells you.
  11. The urge to drink your troubles away does not go away magically just because you have turned 25.
  12. Your capacity to stay up till the wee hours of the morning will start dwindling right before your eyes.
  13. It’s ok to hate having to go to parties. It does not mean you’re getting old, rather, your priorities have changed and matured.
  14. Expect every aunt in your family to start asking you whether you’ve finally found anyone, especially at weddings and funerals. Handle it gracefully, they mean well.
  15. You really should fake a sick day or two once in a while to just stay at home and relax with a good book.
  16. You still have not mastered the art of living within your budget.
  17. There’s no point in trying to get a flat belly. It will never happen.
  18. Eat healthy. Workout as often as you can.
  19. Having a donut or two cupcakes for lunch do not make you a monster. Neither does failing to workout regularly.
  20. Choose your friends carefully. They will be the rock upon which you lean when times get tough.
  21. You’re no masterchef. All those recipes you thought you’d have mastered by now are weeping in a sad little corner.
  22. Wearing your heart on your sleeve is not romantic. It’s an inconvenience which makes you vulnerable. Use your emotions wisely.
  23. Your parents are growing old. Talk to them every single day. Tell them about your crappy day if you have nothing else to talk about.
  24.  It’s ok to want to get married and have babies. It’s not a weakness. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.
  25.  It will get better.