The kids we will never have


Why can’t I stop fantasizing about the kids we will never have? It is so wrong but oh how cute they will be! If it’s a boy he will surely have your spiky hair which stands up all over your head whenever it gets tousled. It would be so adorable and that is the reason my heart melts every time I see a spiky haired little baby boy. It reminds me of the son we will never have. 

Our kids would love deep and hard, just like their parents. They would feel everything ten times harder than other people do and our boy might keep it all bottled up like you do. Hopefully our girl would be a bit more like her mommy and talk about things!

They would write adorable, ardent poems for their first crush and hide them from the prying eyes of the world. A closely guarded secret. And also because they probably are terrible at flirting like us. And also because writing about their feelings is second nature, just like it is to us. I wish I could tell them it was your writing that first drew me to you in a more wholesome manner. I always wanted a man who could write, especially poems!

Our babies might be completely different from us. But still inextricably be us. At their very core they would be a mix of both you and I.

They would be beautiful.

They would never come to be.

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The difference


A house is just that
A house
A word
A noun
A mere explanation
For a structure

Cold. Empty. Lifeless

It won’t become home
Breathing. Pulsating. Giving life

Unless I have you
And our kids running around
Playing hide and seek
inside it

Twenty-five, Asian, disabled and looking for love


This list is compiled out of true stories I’ve heard and a few personal experiences in my journey to find love. Though not every single Asian is obviously like this, unfortunately there are quite a few of them around. Also, no offense intended

1. First of all, you should be lucky enough to find a guy who is man enough* to decide that you are someone awesome and that he genuinely, truly wants to spend the rest of his life with you.

2. Asian parents are too involved in their children’s lives. They almost always completely disapprove of their beloved son deciding to spend the rest of his life with a disabled girl.

3. His parents, siblings and even distant relatives may see you as a demonic entity whose sole intent in life is to destroy said guy’s life.

4. They will avoid you and never talk to you or acknowledge your presence at family gatherings.

5. His family will also talk passionately and in aggrieved tones about what an absolutely wonderful boy your S.O is in every possible way and lament the misfortune (you) that has befallen him right in front of your face.

6. Worse still, ancient aunts and neighbours might whisper, a little too loudly perhaps, that your S.O had to surely have sinned royally in his previous life to have deserved this fate (you) in this life.

7. If the two of you are brave enough to consider marriage, you will more than likely break several hearts, the first being your future MIL’s.

8. Marriage will most likely send your husband into exile as his family would probably disown him.

9. Already surrounded by guilt and doubt, you will begin to wonder whether you will be able to successfully raise a family with him owing to your disability.

10. If you are able to defy all odds and stay strong, united in your decision to be together, you and your S.O will likely have a very happy life together.

*I’m truly sorry to have resorted to using this phrase. But I don’t genuinely know how else to put it because guys, especially Asian guys (according to the many stories I’ve heard and my personal experiences) seem in need of growing a pair when it comes to dating a disabled girl.