There comes a point in our lives where the love of our parents and immediate family is not enough to make us feel loved, and we want to experience a different kind of love.
And you search and search for that kind of love. And somewhere down the line, you are still as alone as you ever were. As alone and lonely as when you first started looking for that special kind of love.
And I was just alone with my bathroom thoughts when I realised that after years of trying to find love, I am still very much alone. And it was a very sobering feeling.
Like, imagine, if you were to die tomorrow, there would be no one else to miss you or love you other than your parents, immediate family and maybe a handful of friends.
And there are seven billion souls in this world. Yet, not one of them is going to miss you in that special I’ve-lost-part-of-my-soul kind of way.
It is a really lonely feeling. Imagine, when you are an only child like me, and your parents are no more, you just know that there is no one in this world who actually, truly cares what happens to you. Like, there is no one to whom you specially belong or connect on another level.
Imagine that. It makes you feel so small. Sort of like you are just floating around without something to anchor you down.
How does one end up so completely alone in a world where it is teeming with equally lonely people? Wondering about the same thing staring at their cold dish of pasta for one in a one bedroom apartment?
How does one get to that point?