I don’t know what to do. I’ve been waiting for that one guy my whole life and then I find him, the one with whom I connect instantly, inexplicably and wordlessly. The guy who makes me smile just by looking at me. The caring thoughtful sweetheart who was always there for me. Except I knew I could never be his because he was already in a steady relationship.
Knowing this I fell for him. Hard. And fought with every bit of strength in me to get over him. To not fall any deeper. I tried falling for someone else. Tried pretending to crush on someone. Then I met someone with whom I actually connected. Things were great until he started talking about going on a date with me. I was hesitant because I barely knew him. Then one thing led to another and he ended up sexting me. Just words thank God. I was pretty turned on by that point and eagerly dove into his messages only to realise that I felt nothing at all. Nothing. Zero.
Instead it made me miss him. And I wished that it was he who was telling me all of this.
I’ve heard that in life you come across a person to whom your soul belongs. Whether as a partner, friend or sibling and that this person would always be special, would always have a different relationship with you from the rest and that you just cannot find that with anyone else.
Is it him? I really hope not.