What am I here for?

There’s this loneliness within me that never seems to go away. I don’t know how or why it originated. It’s just always been there for as long as I can remember. I’m constantly dissatisfied with the life I’m living because
I feel like I’m here for a higher purpose, to make my mark and to not just exist. But I can’t seem to find out what it is. Or how I should go about achieving it. I know that perhaps this sounds dramatic but I don’t know how else to put it. I’m burning to feel alive. I just dont. Despite a six figure salary at this age and a job with a lot of prestige. I’m not saying I’m dissatisfied with my job. It’s just that, whatever I do, this feeling is always there. Maybe the feeling that you were born for greatness isn’t necessarily a good thing because sometimes, instead of fuelling your dreams and pushing you to achieve them, it cripples you by constantly telling you that you aren’t living up to your fullest potential. I cannot be sure that what I feel is that of being born for greatness. But it is the closest I can come to in trying to verbalize this nameless feeling that nags at me eternally. Is it the infamous quarter life crisis that I’m going through or is it because my birth itself was a miracle, I always felt that I survived as a tiny, tiny premature baby defying all odds because I was supposed to be here and make an impact in the world? Is it because I gave myself pep talks every time I felt suicidal, that I can’t leave that easily since I was put here on this earth for a higher purpose? To serve people and to make a change, however small it may be?

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