Being “that girl”


I have never been in a relationship. I’m 27 years old and I’ve always been single. And at a time where being single is considered a great achievement, something cheered upon and wholeheartedly encouraged, I should be proud of myself. “Wheee! Look at me I’m single and proud! I don’t need no man by my side.”  Being single, especially for a woman is almost like a badge of honour these days. It’s an accessory which accentuates your fiercely independent spirit. Gone are the days where you “depend” on a man for your emotional and physical wellbeing. You are all the more stronger for not having a partner. You are an inspiration. You have the time of your life, are emotionally balanced and have a completely healthy attitude towards life in general.

Good for you.

(Un)fortunately, I’m not that girl. I do not think it makes me weak to need companionship. I want to have someone to come home to at night. I need someone I can hug or kiss without a reason. Someone to spoil. Someone to fight with, fight for. Someone to have babies with and yes, actually grow old with.

I am that girl. The girl who likes to dress up for her man. The girl who would very much prefer it if there was someone to walk her home at night or feed her chicken soup when she is sick. Because I’m human and I crave companionship. I’m wired that way. I’m wired for long hugs, for early morning “I love you”s and babies with their daddy’s eyes.

I am that girl. And I’m proud. If it makes me weak, I weep for the future of human relationships.

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Befuddled


We travelled in silence
Comfortable silence
The type that comes when you know
That talking isn’t necessary
To “keep him interested”
We had stopped somewhere
Maybe for a break
my head on his shoulder
Dozing off in peaceful comfort
I jerk awake
My eyes adjust
a wave of emptiness washes over me
as I continue to seek his warmth