In a moment of sheer boredom I decided to sign up for Tinder. And given my luck in the dating world my friends too thought some mindless flirting would be good for me. You know, brush up my flirting skills and get back in the game sort of thing. Also, maybe maybe I would find someone actually dateable they said. You never know, they added. I had my doubts. So off I went.
And after many many left swipes and an equal number of right swipes I found myself chatting with multiple guys at the same time. Sadly this is not a story where I share with you the gross details of unsolicited dick pics I got or how guys got completely weird when I refused sex with them. The guys I chatted with were actually nice. And I believe were patiently waiting to broach the above subject at the correct moment because let’s face it, no guy actually goes on Tinder looking for a solid relationship.
What I wanted to share was how I was beginning to feel. The mindless right swipes and multiple chats were making me feel so hollow. As if the depth and meaning I look for in a relationship have been completely stripped off of it and that I was buying something in a shop. Glancing, evaluating, weighing but never actually having the time to use the product. Also the multiple chats. These guys were telling me their work issues, how late they go home, their passions, likes, dislikes, what they did during the day. All of the conversations revolved around those topics. As if it is my steady boyfriend sharing his life with me. This made me wonder whether all boys do this automatically, as a charming mechanism but never really meaning anything they say, or just talking when the mood strikes them and they are lonely. The ease and smoothness with which my Tinder matches slid into conversations with me made me wonder whether a majority of guys talk in a way that really forges a connection simply because initially it is just the thrill of acquisition, the physical desire. The need for sex.
Somehow these simultaneous conversations were all of the kind I wanted to have with a boyfriend one day, and on Tinder, these conversations completely lost meaning because many guys were sharing their thoughts with me (genuine or not) and therefore the subject matter of these conversations were reduced to something akin to small talk. A character build-up to impress the girl you seek to get.
And how many other girls would they in turn be talking about these things with? Isn’t all just so futile when you think about it? Swiping right on a hundred people, chatting up ten of them and not finding love?
I asked myself what I was doing on Tinder and what I seek to gain out of it. When I couldn’t come up with anything other than flirting, I knew Tinder would ruin a healthy relationship for me in future and I had to get away from it.
So after 10 days, I did